25 Weeks

The most pregnant that I have ever been

Here we are at the magical 25 week mark with a baby growing happily inside.  It’s been hard not to focus on the countdown to this day.  Since last Sunday, the same gestation that I went into labour with Eva, I keep focusing on how this baby is already so different and so blessed.  Luckily it has been an uneventful week in terms of no twinges or anything to make me worry.  I have been visualising having a big full term baby put on my chest after birth to give my body and mind lots of positive vibes.  I have been quite distracted and haven’t been sleeping well.  I do hope that it improves soon!  Andrew says that my pregnancy brain has been a little worse this week.

This week I have had my carpel tunnel diagnosed as severe which means that it has been around for longer than this pregnancy and has just been exacerbated instead of a new case.  Really the only options for me are physio and acupuncture along with wearing the splints.  If it doesn’t improve post partum I may need to consider surgery to release the pressure and to prevent permanent damage to the nerves and muscles.  In the meantime I just get used to waking up in pain.  Oh the joys of pregnancy.

This week the chiropractor suggested a back support belt so I was chuckling to myself yesterday while doing the shopping with splints and the belt on looking rather incapacitated.  My fingers have swollen to the point of my needing to remove my rings and replace them with another bigger ring.  All these new things to remind me that this pregnancy is different to Eva’s.

I had an obstetrician appointment on Tuesday will a good report all round.  Nothing showed up on tests from the previous appointment and the urine specimen this week looks clear (a reassurance for my mental health this week).  Good blood pressure and baby measuring perfectly.  The ultrasound report was online so the doctor could confirm that although the placenta is low the implantation point is in the upper part so it’s a good chance off moving safely out of the way.

Today Eva lay down on my belly as we talked about the baby with her for the first time really. It was a beautiful moment for all of us!

From this point everything is a blessing to us although I can’t envisage this pregnancy making it to full term maybe this baby and my body will surprise me!

A 10kg Miracle!

Eva weighs 10kg now which we think is a big milestone.

In honour of such a fabulous gain and achievement Eva and I baked a celebratory cake.  She had a cake for each kilo up to 5kg so I thought 10kg was a worthy celebration.

We had another review with Dr Dan a neonatal paediatrician.  He was very complementary about Eva’s progress since our last visit in September.  Dr Dan was delighted with Eva’s development and agreed that the gap was closing on her 3 months age difference to her due date. Eva demonstrated her comprehension and language skills.  Her word list has expanded to about 70 in the past 3 weeks.  She is even starting to string two words together occasionally.

We talked about her skin and the eczema flare ups.  Dr Dan agrees that it is most likely food related but also could be environmental.  Thus Eva is visiting a paediatric allergist and immunologist to have an assessment to see if there are foods/allergens that we should be avoiding.  I am pleased about this step as her behaviour is worse than normal when she has flare ups and I don’t want her to feel awful unnecessarily.  I guess we will know more about this after December 22nd.

Today on her physical assessment Eva passed with flying colours.  Although both her ear drums were red but not enough to be concerned re infection.  She has been eating so well lately that I figured that she would weigh in over 10kg. I am thankful that I only have a small toddler to pick up now that I am getting bigger.

Eva’s next follow-up is in the growth and development clinic at the hospital around the time of her due date (end of February) then with Dr Dan in May.  When the receptionist wrote out the May appointment I realised that we will have another small person to bring along by then!

Prematurity Awareness

This week is Prematurity Awareness Week. The Walk for Prems held last Sunday was to raise awareness for the cause of premature birth.  Sadly too many babies are being born too soon.

Eva was born at 25 weeks gestation after 4 days of trying to halt my preterm labour.

 

Minutes after Birth

 

She needed help to breathe,help with her immature lungs.  That meant intubation, a synthetic form of surfactant pushed into her lungs and CPAP from 12 hours old until 9 weeks old.

Day 2 on CPAP

Our hospital stay meant infections, nasogastric tubes, lines, blood transfusions, monitors and wires, learning about apnoeas, bradycardias and breathes per minute, medications, fortifiers, and lots of tests.  It also meant not having a baby to hug when you got home, pumping and stress and worry and lots of tears.  It meant feeling like a failure when she had a bad day and triumphant when things went well.

 

Wearing Daddy's Wedding Ring Day 5

 

Kangaroo Care cuddles were just the best time of the day for Mummy and Daddy.

 

Mummy's First Cuddle

 

 

 

Daddy's First Cuddle

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Measuring progress in milestones like weight gain, Eva wearing clothes for the first time, leaving the incubator behind, her first breastfeed and her first bath.

 

Finally One Kilo

 

It was 105 days in hospital and it was a typical, run of the mill, premature baby course and we all made it to the other side.  Thank goodness.

 

Heading home on Day 105

 

Prematurity awareness is about making women aware of the signs of premature labour.  Making people aware of the support that is offered for families surviving the long hospital stays.  Also raising awareness of the fact that prematurity doesn’t stop when babies leave the hospital and that it can have lifelong impacts.

 

Two, One, Birth

Two-Year-Old Eva with a bag of rice 210g heavier than her at birth

Eva cuddling the Baba that is her lowest weight and slightly bigger than her at birth

 

 

 

Walk for Prems

Today Eva proudly joined with many other premature babies and children to walk to raise awareness of premature births.  Eva was joined by her Daddy and Nanny to journey 5km around Albert Park Lake with about 1000 other walkers.  I sat and rested and watched the world go by while they walked.

It was amazing to see lots of tiny babies there with their parents who have obviously recently been discharged.  The money raised today will go towards supporting parents as they face the journey with premature and sick babies.  They are refurbishing a parent’s room at one of the Melbourne Hospitals and buying more comfortable kangaroo care chairs for multiple hospitals.    More donations are gratefully accepted at http://www.everydayhero.com.au/evahodges.

Walk for Prems – Sunday November 14th

Coming up in just under 3 weeks is the Walk for Prems on Sunday November 14th. Obviously this is a cause close to our hearts and we are very much looking forward to supporting the Life’s Little Treasures Foundation as they aim to raise money.  Part of the money for this year’s walk is to upgrade the parent’s room facilities at Monash Hospital and to provide some comfy chairs for Kangaroo Care to several NICUs in Melbourne.  Of course the parent’s comfort isn’t everything but it really helps on this difficult journey.

Eva's First Kangaroo Care Day 8

As it is close to Eva’s second birthday (11th) we think that this is a great way to celebrate her life.  We will be doing the 5km walk and would love for anyone who can to join us.  Registration is $25 per adult and $10 per child.  After the walk there is a family fun day at Albert Park (including post walk massage).

Register online here: http://www.lifeslittletreasures.org.au/cart/support-llt/2010/walk-for-prems/

We realise that for most people joining us isn’t going to be possible so we have started a fundraising page if you would like to contribute to this fundraising on Eva’s behalf.  Any contribution will be excitedly received.

http://www.everydayhero.com.au/evahodges is where we are collecting donations.

Eva blowing you a kiss to say Thank You

Please let us know if you will be joining us for the Walk for Prems on November 14th.  We hope to see you there.

It’s All Good

That’s what Dr Dan said at the conclusion of yesterday’s appointment.  Dr Dan is the neonatologist that Eva sees for follow up.  He is delightful and very down to earth.  Andrew was able to come with us yesterday so that was great.

The big news is that Eva now weighs 9.53kg!  I really like these scales as they give a much better number than the local maternal and child health clinic ones.  That means that she put on her birth weight in the past 4 months.  I am thinking that we no longer need to go to the health clinic for reviews when the scales only give me grief!  Everyone had been commenting on how big so was getting  but I just didn’t let myself believe it.  Maybe at the next weigh-in Eva will be in double figures which may be worth an Aunty Ali cake as celebration. I guess our last month of lots of avocado and nut butters has helped maybe along with me relaxing a little.  All the swimming and consequent eating in Fiji may have helped too.

Eva’s weight is near the 10th centile and unsurprisingly her height and head circumference is in the 25th centile.  She is out of proportion which I know from her clothes where she needs the height but not the width.

Overall Dr Dan is very impressed with her developmental progress for a 25-weeker. He reassured us that next Winter will be much easier with less viral infections to contend with.  As he checked her over he found her ears and throat to be red and her glands to be swollen so along with her runny nose and slightly gooey eyes we have another viral illness right now.  He agrees that her persistent dry cough and occasional wheezing that comes with each virus is asthma but wonders if the trauma of administering an inhaler via a spacer is worth it when she doesn’t really suffer from major breathlessness.  As usual she was a very good patient allowing him to examine her without complaint. I know this question can’t last forever but it does make us wonder if that is from her personality or from her constant medical examination for the first 3 months of her life.

Dr Dan was delighted to see her walking and babbling for the whole visit.  He said that currently there are no signs of any developmental delay but that there may be signs in the future as she heads to school but it looks to be unlikely.  We can look forward to more words in the upcoming months.  We had a big chat about eczema which is really bothering Eva at the moment.  Although we have always been lathering her with moisturiser he suggested oil in the bath nightly which is what we used to do when she was in her baby bath.

Overall it was a great appointment with lots of positive outcomes.

Keeping it in perspective

Not long after Eva’s poor weigh in I had occasion to buy 1kg of Butter.  I often buy 1kg of flour or rice but I just pick up the packet and don’t really give the weight much thought.  This time as I stood there holding 1kg of butter in my hands I looked to Eva and realised that at birth she weighed less than what I hold in my hands.  It made me remember that she has come so far since her arrival into the world at 790g with her lowest weight being 625g.

Recently we joined a premature baby support group here in Melbourne, Life’s Little Treasures.  They run a local morning tea monthly and I have enjoyed seeing and hearing from other premature baby mums.  The following poem was on the back of the welcome booklet and I wanted to share it.  It is written in relation to a child with a life long disability but I still feel that I can relate to it in terms of the first few months of Eva’s life.

Welcome to Holland

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this…

When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans: the Coliseum, the Michelangelo David, the gondolas in Venice. You may even learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.

After several months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says “Welcome to Holland.”

“Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I dreamed of going to Italy.”

But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.

So you must go out and but new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It’s just a different place. It’s slower placed than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there awhile you begin to notice that Holland has windmills… and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away… because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss.

But… if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things… about Holland.

(Copyright 1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved.)

Picture Source

The Weight Game

Eva’s weight has gone nowhere in the past 10 weeks!  I knew that she was looking thinner but I didn’t expect the scales to tell me 5 grams less than last time she was on them.  The good thing about using pounds to measure her is that there is no change instead of a loss.  I know that 5 grams is nothing when you put it on the scales but it’s the missing 300 grams of gain that I’m upset about.  Anyway there’s nothing much I can do when she refuses to eat all I can do is offer.  There is a ray of hope though as she ate really well last week when she felt better so I know she can do it she just has no appetite when she feels yuk.  I guess I need to be aware of this and avoid getting frustrated.

We have started to do more grazing for her snacks and meals to tempt her toddler tastebuds. I read this article by Dr Sears which inspired me to be slightly less obsessive about mashing up high protein, carbs and vegetable to be spoon fed and to give her the freedom which is a toddlers dream. She just loves sitting at her little table and chairs to snack.

Also I have been inspired by our friends Catherine and Glenn’s success with their daughter Felicity and Baby Led Weaning.   This is a no purees approach to food where the focus in on milk as the source of nutrition thus until 1 year of age food is for fun and exploring.

A month ago Eva showed us that she could take steps on her own but has only been taking a handful of steps at a time since then.  I lay awake that night wondering how I would manage a walker in the house and what would change.  I haven’t found out yet as clearly she’s not interested in the walking thing!  It’s much quicker to crawl and obviously she wants to do it perfectly so needs to take her time working up to it!  Everyday she does a bunch of steps (if inspired enough to get something) so she does get the concept.

Meanwhile her fine motor skills are improving rapidly with great cupboard opening skills now requiring cupboard locks to keep Mama’s sanity.  There are also new zip opening skills which are tested regularly with Eva’s bag and mama’s purse.

Eva is really vocalising a lot now.  She tries all sorts of words and really looks like she is having conversations with us.  She stops for us to reply and then continues.  It’s just so cute.  She even talks to Mum on Skype like that.  She has dada, mama and baba really well but other words are popa and nana. Daily she sounds like she is trying to copy words.

We are having a few issues with separation anxiety when I am around.  Eva likes to be bathed by me right now where as this used to be Daddy’s special time.  I am hoping that it is just going along with the learning to walk/big milestone phase and it will pass.  I used to really like this Daddy time at the end of a day!

Of course this time is full of change and learning new things and it is so exciting.  We could do with a few less tantrums of frustration but it just goes with the territory.

A New Obsession in Our House

As of yesterday afternoon Eva can walk gingerly pushing a block trolley.  She was standing at the coffee table and reached for the trolley with one hand.  I helped her to put the other hand on and she was off!  The first few laps of the lounge room were very hesitant of course but then she got the hang of it and before bed she was doing laps around the house with Daddy following for steering adjustment.  It was amazing to watch how quickly she learnt the skill and adjusted her technique.  Most importantly she was walking flat footed which is great as preemies tend to walk on tippy toes.

Andrew and I were so happy and proud to see her progress to this stage.  It is another milestone that was hard to imagine all those days ago sitting at her humidicrib willing her heart rate to stop jumping up.  Our friend Bindy was here to help out and witness this special learning that Eva was doing.  With the wonder of Skype my mum and dad were even able to watch her from Canberra!

Eva didn’t seem to tire of the pushing and even went back to the hallway to find the trolley and push again.  I think it is a new obsession for her.  I loved that even when she fell over while practicing she was holding onto the trolley with two hands!  Can’t wait to see what today holds in store for us.

A Dr Dan Visit

Eva had a further follow up with Dr Dan, the neonatal consultant we first saw in February.  Overall he was very pleased with Eva’s development and was again fantastic at spending time with us and listening to our questions.

Eva’s weight was 8.88kg (19lb 6oz).  I really like these scales because they weigh heavier than our maternal health clinic and make it seem like Eva is stacking on the weight!  That is just short of a kilo gained in 3 months and has jumped her from the 2^nd to 9^th centile on the chart.  I am proud of that!  Her height and head circumference are on the 25^th centile.

Eva did some good demonstrations of play using left and right hands and cruising with a small step from the table to me.  She also demonstrated lovely lying on the floor and melting down toddler style when I took something away.  Eva helped Dr Dan to take her top over her head, which he thought was very good and she showed good fine motor skills by eating sultanas.  Eva pointed to the posters of babies and said “baba” and talked about “Dada” too.

Eva is still standing on tippy toes at times when upright but fortunately not constantly.  Eva is being referred to a Growth and Development Clinic where her physical and psychological development will be assessed and any further intervention will be initiated.

We discussed further immunisations. Eva is due for chicken pox and didn’t have the rotavirus vaccine in the UK so needs it now.  I will have to take her to the Mercy Hospital when Dr Dan consults to have these done because the rotavirus is only licensed at the GP when the child is under 6 months.  It’s a little tricky that the vaccination schedules are different in the two countries.

Dr Dan again discussed the likelihood of asthma appearing in the near future with Winter on it’s way.   We just have to sit it out and see how her body reacts to the viruses it is faced with.

Eva’s upper middle teeth have some indentations on them.  I was concerned that it was decay or a knock to them but Dr Dan thinks that it is most likely a malformation of the enamel.  Tooth enamel is formed after birth at which point Eva may not have had the right balance of minerals in her body to form it properly.  Anyway next stop is a paediatric dentist for assessment.

Eva woke up with puffy eyes and a small rash around her nose. Dr Dan thought that this might be a sign that she was coming down with a viral illness.  Overnight she was upset several times so maybe something is brewing.

Eva was very tired by the end of the appointment and fell asleep within minutes of being in the car.  It’s hard work entertaining yourself in the waiting room and then performing for the Dr!